Vibrant Vietnam and Stunning Singapore

Every alternate year I bribe my progeny with a fun holiday somewhere so we can reunite for several days. We gathered this time in Ho Chi Minh City, and immediately started our Vietnam adventure with a brief and brave visit to the Ben Thang market. The city traffic felt so intimidating with several hundred scooters and countless buses and trucks surging in all directions through the streets. I squealed every time we had to cross a road and was forced to close my eyes, clutch whichever offspring was closest, and walk forward without looking. At first everything seemed a shambolic mess, but we soon learned to think of the traffic like water flowing down a fast river. It simply parted around any obstacle – including us. If road management is a reflection of a people, then the Vietnamese get my vote. We never saw aggression and everyone made space for others. When a bus driver decided to overtake in the face of on-coming traffic, two-lane roads simply became three as cars, other buses and scooters squeezed to the roadsides to let him through. Once our nerves settled it was wonderful to watch.

We selected the Hoa Tuc Restaurant for out first catch up dinner – it’s a popular tour guide recommendation serving fresh local cuisine. We were eventually seated at a lovely outdoor table once we’d refused an initial offering of a table upstairs adjacent to a geriatric tour group – having only recently been relieved from everyday visits to a retirement care facility, I was determined to avoid anyone over ninety this entire holiday. It was worth the wait – despite being packed with tourists, our food was delicious.

We were up and out early the next morning to investigate the Cu Chi tunnels. Our adept guide avoided other tourist groups so we experienced an unhurried visit that left us feeling deeply reflective afterwards. It was an intense experience. We felt claustrophobic and breathless after just a short 100m crawl along a tunnel widened especially for oversized tourist. Visualising families forced to live in such conditions with so little light or fresh air during the Vietnam War was confronting.

On returning to Ho Chi Minh, we were shaken from our musings on joining a hair-raising Vespa Night Food Tour. Buzzing around the city chaos is exhilarating and is an absolute ‘must do’ experience. We were forced to trust the system, hang on tight and enjoy the ride. Our tour included a nine-course meal spread over several central venues, a Vietnamese style open mic evening in a lovely suburban bar, and concluded in a club with a rock and roll band belting out many old favourites; the vocalists having no understanding of the words they were imitating, and the subsequent mispronounced output being much more entertaining than the real lyrics.

Our visit to the Mekong Delta included a bus trip, a trailer ride, a river cruise, a short cycle, an even shorter walk, and then a rowing boat on a narrow tributary. The weather that day was perfect but we still got a real feel for the oppressiveness of the jungle and it was easy to imagine how frightening and awful it must have been enduring brutal conflict in the tropical heat, humidity and near-relentless rain.

After all this busyness, we decided to indulge in a Vietnamese massage. I spotted a lovely looking place right across the road from our hotel and was persuaded to book us all in for a ninety minute session. The elegantly clad woman at reception guided us safely through the curtains and into the change rooms. Once our gear was locked away in their lockers and we’d changed into gowns and slippers, she introduced us to four giggling ‘masseurs’ clad in scanty shorts and plunging t-shirts. We endured the ninety excruciating minutes; so painful we feared permanent injury. The girls found Samantha of particular of interest with her big blue eyes, long blonde hair and hourglass figure. All four tut-tutted about her, and finally her personal torturer declared in broken English, “I like you. You look like Barbie.” Sammy couldn’t wait to escape. I assumed the few unidentifiable groans we could hear in neighbouring rooms were other clients having similar pain inflicted on them, but my lot soon enlightened me on that theory. Some three weeks later as I write this, I’m still trying to become reconciled to the idea that I may have taken my children to a brothel.

On our last morning in Ho Chi Minh we prepared for the day’s hectic schedule by loading up with caffeine at one of the coffee shops nearby. An unhurried slow-filtered Vietnamese coffee with condensed milk had become an enjoyable daily ritual for us. Thereafter, we visited the War Remnants Museum – not for the fainthearted, the Reunification Palace with its amazing collection of art deco treasures, the Notre Dame Cathedral and the Post Office building, alongside which there was an alley entirely filled with book and stationery stalls.

Our trusty guide then dropped us at the airport for a flight north to Da Nang. Sadly, our limited vacation time didn’t permit staying there, so we drove past China Beach and the old military air base en route to our beach resort hotel in Hoi An. The growth along this stretch is phenomenal. Some years back, the government built several bridges over the large rivers in the area and trade has since exploded across the region. Massive hotels are being built one after another along the entire 35km coastline between Da Nang and Hoi An. A vast influx of Chinese and Korean tourists, and newly introduced cheap direct flights from Australia and New Zealand are expected to fill the hotel rooms, and if these forecasts are correct, the area will change markedly in the near future.

Hoi An was a gorgeous spot. In the mornings, the fresh produce markets support a roaring trade which we witnessed as guests of the Red Bridge Cooking School. We started by shopping for ingredients in the food markets and followed with an entertaining 8-course cooking lesson on a remote island a boat trip away from the mainland.

At night, hundreds of beautiful lanterns floating in the river light up the Hoi An buildings and bridges making it a romantic but vibrant place to eat and people watch. The village also boasts streets of excellent tailors who are able to knock up overnight any garment you care to order. My middle child had a fantastic time having several outfits made, and since she looked gorgeous in everything, we got more and more carried away. My youngest limited her purchases to a pair of hand made leather sandals and a backpack of her own design, and my son ordered several beautiful work shirts and a couple of soft leather belts. These two abandoned us when it became apparent that repeated fittings would be no short-term exercise.

After a day’s break flopped around our resort pool we resumed our travels with another flight further north – this time to Hanoi. We enjoyed several great meals there, once again relying on guide recommendations so a bit on the safe side. Madame Hein was our best. One evening we joined hundreds and hundreds of locals seated on small plastic stools in the street drinking draft beer and socialising after work at Bai Hoi corner. The area was absolutely packed for a couple of hours and then, without us noticing, it emptied as everyone disappeared home or moved on to other venues. Having no desire to go clubbing Vietnamese style we slunk home and prepared for another early start the next day.

Every morning and evening, wherever we were in the country, roadside loudspeakers blared communist propaganda messages and instruction to the entire population. Hanoi was no different, but on Saturday and Sunday, the central lakeside streets of the city are closed to traffic for families to spend some prescribed time together in the park and the space provided by emptied roads. We watched bemused as parents loaded their little ones into remote controlled cars and drove them up and down the tarmac outside our hotel, unattached men played football on the sidewalks using a shuttlecock instead of a ball while the women they hoped to impress gossiped in groups seated nearby on the grass. It seemed peaceful after our hectic pace earlier in the week as we roared through the usual top ten tourist traps including a surprisingly entertaining water puppet show. I had expected major groaning when I revealed that part of the itinerary, but the kids were polite and I remained oblivious to the shared grimacing and subtle nudging until much later

Our next and final destination was Ha Long Bay, and after a long three and a half hour drive north when we started questioning the wisdom of this inclusion, we finally boarded a spacious and well-appointed old ship and were spoiled with luxurious cabins. Ha Long Bay, with nearly two thousand islands, was much more majestic and extensive than we expected. Our particular ship, the Dragon Legend, ventured far from the maddening crowds and we were fairly isolated for the duration of the cruise. I understand from fellow travellers that the area is dense with tourist charters and the experience can be disappointing but for us the only detraction was the litter polluting every waterway. I wish the government would use their daily brainwashing broadcasts to teach the populace to clean up.

Our journey concluded with a stopover in Singapore; we’d transited here many times but had not once left the airport. In an attempt to prolong the holiday for just one more day, I’d suggested we stay overnight and find out why people seemed to rate the place so highly. Oh my goodness – great decision. We had a wonderful 30 hours there, starting with several cocktails at the Marina Bay Sands roof top bar and followed by an epic dinner in Clarke Quay. The next morning we viewed the incredible Cloud Forest and Gardens by the Bay, and finally, because a deluge descended, we holed up for the remainder of the afternoon in the Billiard Room at Raffles quaffing Singapore Slings. It was such a happy last day (until I had to sniffle my way through the inevitable farewells) and we all agreed a return trip is a definite.

This trip was one of our best holidays. It was relatively inexpensive, easy, safe and fascinating; a worthy addition to your bucket list.